I know my mind should be on Dave's family...but all I can think about right now is how this crap-hole I'm staying in doesn't have skiffy...so I'm going to miss BSG. I'm recording it at home, but it'd really be nice to get to watch it tonight. A little comfort amidst the chaos. Yes, I'm going to hell.
This is really one of the first adult ventures I've undertaken. Yes, I pay my bill and go to work, but other than that, I'm pretty much one of those people who never stopped living their childhood. Well, the flight was fine, but my seat was 12D and it was the last seat on the plane, if that's any indication of how small the plane was. I hate window seats, so that's exactly what I got. But the flight was smooth thanks to Captain Chatty (seriously, this guy talked a lot).
Rental car place was fine, although, the lady asked if I was renting the car for business or leisure. Well, that's not really much of a choice. It's a hundai (sp?) sonata. It has a sunroof (whee)! Although when I was driving back from dinner, the check engine light came on. I think it's me. I think I cause the check engine light, not an actual engine problem (mine has been on for 3 years).
Luckily, everything is pretty close to the airport. I checked-in to the motel next. It is truly a disaster. I knew coming in that this was not going to be the Ritz, but ewww. This is a place that I would ask for my money back if this wasn't a packaged deal. It was cheaper to buy the ticket and the motel than just the ticket. Oh well, it's just a place to sleep and bathe.
I rested for a while and got dressed to go to the funeral home. That's when it kind of hit me. I really didn't want to go, but I wanted to see Melissa, so I sucked it up and went, giving myself the "be strong" pep talk the whole way.
I wasn't sure I was going to be able to be in the room with Dave, but I saw Melissa and it was okay. I made a beeline for her. She was happy to see me, surprised I made it. Seeing Dave was easier than I thought... I didn't go up to the coffin...but he really didn't look like the Dave I knew, he had a lot of weight gain from the chemo, and he had much longer hair when we lived in Texas.
Melissa was the only person I knew there, and I'm a horrible people person, so I bolted after about 30 minutes. I didn't break down until I got back to the car, so...small victory.
My friend Gonzo is driving down from Chicago...I'm really excited that I won't be alone tomorrow.
If you have a spare thought tomorrow...think about me. Or at least, think "don't cry all day, Kelly."
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